Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
