i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
