i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
