I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
