I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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