After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
