Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
