You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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