I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
