saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
