would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
