Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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