I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my shit smells like andre
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
