the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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