We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I bet he comes in French.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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