Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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