How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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