God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
