You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
