He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
