I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
