So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
