There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
