were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you never un-have a 4some
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