i just google imaged poop.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
