Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
