I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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