Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
