I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
