Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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