hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
