I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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