I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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