I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
