belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
