Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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