Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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