Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
