Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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