My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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