Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
