And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
