Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
