Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
