So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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