so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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