ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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