you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
