can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
