jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
