I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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