I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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